Made For Men…or Not?

Ten years into Backyard Bees markets, I still question how to set up the table.

Not because of the soaps.
Because of people.

Do I group products by scent? By ingredient? By purpose? Do all the lavender things belong together? Should the shampoo bars stay near the soap saver bags? Little things matter when you’re trying to help people find what they need. Father’s Day especially tends to make me rethink the table every year.

I am the mother of twin boys, but they are not identical in looks or personality. Life lesson learned early: everyone is different.

Still, after years at markets, I’ve also learned that people sometimes like a little guidance when they shop. Men and women often gravitate toward different scents, textures, and packaging — even if we’re all supposedly trying not to stereotype each other anymore.

So years ago, I created a small section on the Backyard Bees table. Mountain Man soap. DEEP Beard Balm. Coco Loco Shave Soap. Green Tea & Turmeric soap. A couple of beeswax lip balms made with hemp oil. I even made a sign, “Made With Men in Mind,” because I genuinely thought I was helping people shop more easily.

And then? Total discord. LOL.

Men ignored the section completely and reached for Lavender Goat’s Milk instead. Others wanted anything minty. Peppermint Pumice, with its light scrub and fresh scent, quietly became a favorite.

Women immediately objected to being excluded from the “men’s” products.

“Why can’t I use this one?”

Apparently, the sign gave women permission to shop the whole table once I added “…but loved by women, too,” but men still seemed cautious about crossing invisible product lines.

And the lip balms? Total chaos.

Meanwhile, Father’s Day shopping has always fascinated me.

Mother’s Day customers happily build beautiful gift bags filled with lotion bars, lip balms, body scrubs, soaps, teas, honey, bath rituals — all the little comforts and luxuries people rarely buy for themselves.

Father’s Day tends to move in a different direction.

Hot honey? “Perfect for Dad.”
Shaving supplies? Easy sell.
Anything smoky, woodsy, or packaged in darker colors? Suddenly very masculine.

But the funny thing is that some of the products men quietly love most are the ones people hesitate to buy for them.

Coffee Calendula Body Scrub.
Tangerine Clove lip balm.
A good lotion bar in winter.

I can’t tell you how many men return to my table asking for the exact products they originally claimed were “not really their thing.”

Or the number of women who called “their men” on the phone, asking them “which soap did you like the best?” or “Do you need any more deodorant?”

After years of these conversations, I’ve mostly stopped labeling products for men or women altogether. What people seem to want now is something simpler — gender-neutral natural skincare that feels good, smells good, and fits naturally into their everyday routines.

The truth is, soap doesn’t really care who uses it. People do.

Most customers aren’t really shopping for “men’s products” or “women’s products.” They’re simply looking for permission to try something different.

Permission granted.

Want to start a conversation?

Come visit me at the Backyard Bees table. Check the events calendar for upcoming markets and pop-ups.

New to the series? Start with A Real Farmers Market in Eisenhower Park—an introduction to the market, the people, and the place where these conversations happen.